Any opinions from parents about the health class presentation from Wait 4 Your Mate?

Apparently my son went through this two years ago and doesn't seem to recall (or rather, doesn't seem to want to tell me much). I guess I wasn't paying attention then. Or maybe it just seems more difficult to have my daughter hear it.

I guess we have the option to go to the school for a presentation to the parents. I'm not even sure I care to attend that.

Anybody? Anybody?

Bueller? Bueller?

Take your kids to see "Juno". They will get the message in language they speak.

Check the archives on this board. When my freshman was at Hadley she told us all about Wendell the abstinence guy at the dinner table one of the only times my husband truely could not eat. I heard that Wendell no longer gives program but he certainly was entertaining for the students.

I looked in the archives and couldn't find the thread.

I'm not sure I understand your objections. The messages our youth are being inundated on TV, movies, music and society in general are overwhelmingly destructive to childhood and innocence. Certainly, the home and church is where values should be taught, however a little back up can't hurt. Anything that gives a child pause or opens up a conversation, even at the dinner table, is OK with me. There is a lot of bad stuff out there and our kids are being exposed younger and younger. Yes, even in Glen Ellyn.
P.S. The program costs the district nothing.

quote:

Originally posted by Shore Thing:
I'm not sure I understand your objections. The messages our youth are being inundated on TV, movies, music and society in general are overwhelmingly destructive to childhood and innocence. Certainly, the home and church is where values should be taught, however a little back up can't hurt. Anything that gives a child pause or opens up a conversation, even at the dinner table, is OK with me. There is a lot of bad stuff out there and our kids are being exposed younger and younger. Yes, even in Glen Ellyn.
P.S. The program costs the district nothing.

Shore Thing: You get what you pay for. It's a religious organization teaching in the public schools. You think they will charge for it? Mask it how you will, Wendell's presentation is not informative to the kids. It's creepy. I will bank on giving children knowledge any day rather than slogans. Remember "just say no"? Well, that stopped the use of drugs, didn't it? Or was it just another ad campaign? Last I heard, meth was a real problem, and heroin was making a comeback.

The last "Wendell witness" to appear was a woman who engaged in premarital sex and gave her child up for adoption. The whole tone made adoption unseemly, especially when the Jerry Springer soap opera of her relationship with her "man" was discussed.

Your home is where values are taught. The church is the back up. Or vice versa. Whichever you want to stress. If you don't like the messages which are inundating your children, turn off the TV. Don't buy the movie tickets. Turn your kids on to great music, and learn what is being said in the music which is played now. Discuss that in an intelligent conversation, and you can teach values to your kids.

Quote from my kids: "I am not going to hear anything on that CD (by Lily Allen, FOB, Panic At The Disco, Amy Winehouse) that I don't hear on the bus or at Hadley."

I had no complaints about the program. I just wished I would have known more about the program before my daughter participated. My older one will talk to me about anything and everything. She told us about what was said and asked us questions at home. I doubt most kids will do this- I know my younger daughter would not. I think many parents do not know if and when their kids need clarification on these topics because their kids don't talk with them about them.
I think the more places kids hear positive messages the better.

In every town, even GE, there are many parents who:
1. Won't talk about certain subjects with their children - and their children won't talk to their parents because the parent sends a loud-and-clear message that they really don't want to talk about it.
2. Try to be the "cool" parent and let their kids do lots of things they shouldn't do.
3. Are clueless in their "la-la" land beliefs about what kids do.


Even when parents can and do talk to and listen to their kids while keeping reasonable boundaries of parent-child relationship, sometimes kids want to hear "it" from someone else. Afterall, we parents really shouldn't tell our kids about our sexual experiences - at least not in any kind of detail.

That said, a school has a responsibility to present factual information in a comfortable environment that allows for a variety of family values and provides the best preparation for real life. Abstinence only sex ed is not effective. Luckily, I can talk to my kids about this stuff.

quote:

Originally posted by Shore Thing:
Certainly, the home and church is where values should be taught, however a little back up can't hurt. Anything that gives a child pause or opens up a conversation, even at the dinner table, is OK with me.

Agree with the first part, strongly disagree with the second.

I'm sure I could come up with quite a list of topics and groups that would "give your children pause and open up a conversation." Just not sure those are conversations everyone particularly desires to have around their dinner tables.

The only discussion such a program would open up around our dinner table would be the importance of separating church and state, the need to be vigilant against evangelical creeps who insist on trying to spread their dogma in inappropriate settings, and the appropriate way to contact school and government officials to express your dissatisfaction.

The note that came home to our house yesterday was asking if we, as parents, would be interested in attending an informational session/workshop on the program and techniques that facilitate discussion of sexual activity with our kids. The county-wide program is funded by a federal grant, I believe.

My 7th grader thought I should say yes to this and so that is what the form that went back to school indicated. If I know what they are talking about at school, I can more easily talk about this with them. Regardless of what they are saying, at least I will know first-hand what the message is.

West also has a rather graphic sex ed unit in freshmen health. We recently were asked by our freshman to complete a questionnaire about our ideas on building and maintaining healthy relationships, marriage, premarital sex and other topics. This did open up extensive discussion and it was interesting to note that "parental disapproval" of young teen sex was a key factor cited by those teens who were not having sex. Pretty simple, but it makes sense - if you don't talk to them, they won't know your beliefs.

This topic was mentioned under a different thread. Hadley Health Conspiracy??


Posted December 13, 2007 07:13 PM
I spent about 45 minutes talking with this teacher at parent conferences last month. There have been a few irresponsible comments made to different classes.
I had lots of questions for her about tanning. According to this class, it is safer to be burned repeatedly than to be tan, because tanning effects deeper layers of your skin. Just what I want to fight about as I'm chasing the kids around with sunscreen.

My favorite part of this health class is the "Wait 4 Your Mate" and "Keep Your Pants Up" discussions. I wonder how many 7th grade boys go home and tell their parents about what they talk about during that week.

Here are two questions from their website that would be great conversation starters during dinner time. Eek

[/I]Q: Q: How far is too far?
A: We recommend that you draw the line at kissing and don't even take that too far. The reason why we set this boundary is because anything past a regular kiss ("Making Out" as some would call it) leads to other things. It's like getting on a water slide, going half way down and then deciding to walk back up the other way…Not going to happen! A water slide is made for a person to keep going once they get on it just like sexual activity is made to come before sex. So if you don't plan on having sex, don't jump on the slide.

Q: Are you abstinent if you masturbate?
A: You can not contract an STD from masturbating; however, the reality of it is that very often masturbation is closely connected with the use of pornography, and therefore, for the same reasons as above, it is not emotionally or mentally healthy or safe.[/I]

When I asked about the information on the website, she said she was unaware that any of this was there.


They are also told since condoms are not 100% effective the shouldn't be trusted, giving the impression that they shouldn't be used at all.

I remembered after I posted the question that it was mentioned in the other Hadley health thread. I went to their website and saw this same information and it jarred my memory.

I don't like the idea of making a kid feel bad about masturbation. It's sort of like trying to make a horse feel bad about trotting, right? So, I had to tell my almost-fifteen-year-old son and twelve-year-old daughter that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. AWK! WARD!

I don't think going to the presentation will do much to ease my mind. I'm also not sure it helps to keep your child from the class, since they'll hear about whatever they missed when they ride home on the bus each day and they'll feel funny being taken out of class. I guess I just hope that my kid will come home and ask me about anything that seems strange. I also can't really see that happening, so what's a mother to do?

quote:

Originally posted by little...way:
so what's a mother to do?

If they won't ask you, you ask them.

By the way, I'm very impressed that you had the AWK!WARD! conversation. Lots of parents won't do that.

I actually can still vividly recall my mom talking to me about that nearly 30 years ago. There are some things that I really didn't want to talk to my mom about back then. Of course, my having an older sister get pregnant at 17 likely made her feel she had to say something!

My children would argue that most of our conversations are AWK! WARD! I'm known for bringing up topics that my kids would rather not hear, ever, especially from their mommy! I have my kids watch Trading Spouses and Wife Swap and ask them to imagine what kind of a replacement they'd send here for me. As bad as they think it is to be my kid, I can tell that they're worried about who might be here in my stead.

quote:

Originally posted by GEmom2:
I actually can still vividly recall my mom talking to me about that nearly 30 years ago. There are some things that I really didn't want to talk to my mom about back then. Of course, my having an older sister get pregnant at 17 likely made her feel she had to say something!

I thought you were only 32...

My kids have consistently said that no matter how uncomfortable any particualr conversation might be, they far prefer living in a home where their parents are interested in and aware of what is going on, and where any matter can be discussed.

Slightly different topic, my wife and I long thought our kids must think us pretty strict. My kids assured us that while certain of our specific rules/preferences might be considered strict, what they far preferred was the fact that we had consistent and predictable rules, were able to express our reasons for specific rules, and - on occasion - were open to modifying our policies when given sufficient information.

Clam - I was quite precocious.

I've said it before and will say it again - It does seem that by and large, regular posters here are big on communication with their children - even on the difficult topics. Go ahead and pat yourselves on the back - or get together and have someone else do it with or for you! Either way is perfectly fine.

having "the talks" has been one of the greatest parenting experiences of my life. i say "talks" (plural) because it's important to keep talking about every aspect of "it" as your kids mature through their teenage years. including the AWK! WARD! stuff.

that said, if reverend keep-it-in-your-pants was "teaching" at hadley when my kids went there, i'd have raised holy hell. i say storm the gates and send him packing. who let him in anyway?

quote:

you had the AWK!WARD! conversation. Lots of parents won't do that.

does this count?
I have these conversations all the time but while answering the AWK!WARD! questions, but my mind is always off in another direction....I CAN'T believe I am talking about THIS with my kids & my parents never talked like this to me. EEEEEKS.

so I don't know how effective I am.

I think it counts. The kids aren't in your head knowing what you're thinking...hopefully you have a decent poker face so you don't look too shocked. Although, there may be some things they say/ask that you should be shocked and they should see that you are shocked. You know your kids so you probably know which game face to use.