BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......



DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

I would make a smart @ss comment about going for the thread count winner if I wasn't laughing so d**n hard. Thanks Yoss

ROB HERBOLD: It must have been going to Amy's house.

Good one, Spines.

CANDIDATE: I’ll check to see if we have an ordinance regarding that. When I was in law enforcement we would arrest chickens for jaywalking.

BLUEECHOS: To get in the best light.

CLAMATO: D**m chicken. I hope I don’t hit it with my brand new manwagon.

DINSDALE: It must be on its way to PADS. To the extent PADS is encouraging these chickens to come to our town, PADS IS responsible for the problem.

AMY: Dear chicken, please be careful. Please be sure to look before you cross and watch out for that coyote.

GOTROCKS: Make sure it’s cooked and served in a Glen Ellyn restaurant.

YOSS: I’ll have to start a topic on this.

quote:

Originally posted by Spines:
CANDIDATE: I’ll check to see if we have an ordinance regarding that. When I was in law enforcement we would arrest chickens for jaywalking.

BLUEECHOS: To get in the best light.

CLAMATO: D**m chicken. I hope I don’t hit it with my brand new manwagon.

DINSDALE: It must be on its way to PADS. To the extent PADS is encouraging these chickens to come to our town, PADS IS responsible for the problem.

AMY: Dear chicken, please be careful. Please be sure to look before you cross and watch out for that coyote.

GOTROCKS: Make sure it’s cooked and served in a Glen Ellyn restaurant.

YOSS: I’ll have to start a topic on this.

These are priceless! You've nailed them all.

I fully support your characterization of me and the others too. LOL - best post all day!

Very good Spines, you got us pegged.

quote:

Originally posted by perplexed:

quote:

Originally posted by Spines:
CANDIDATE: I’ll check to see if we have an ordinance regarding that. When I was in law enforcement we would arrest chickens for jaywalking.

BLUEECHOS: To get in the best light.

CLAMATO: D**m chicken. I hope I don’t hit it with my brand new manwagon.

DINSDALE: It must be on its way to PADS. To the extent PADS is encouraging these chickens to come to our town, PADS IS responsible for the problem.

AMY: Dear chicken, please be careful. Please be sure to look before you cross and watch out for that coyote.

GOTROCKS: Make sure it’s cooked and served in a Glen Ellyn restaurant.

YOSS: I’ll have to start a topic on this.

Why aren’t you this funny in person?

Perplexed - don't worry I am way funnier in person. Like stand-up comedian funny.

Which I know is hard to believe because I am so funny here.

quote:

Originally posted by GE Fan:

Perplexed - don't worry I am way funnier in person. Like stand-up comedian funny.

Which I know is hard to believe because I am so funny here.

How did this become about you?

quote:

Originally posted by perplexed:

quote:

Originally posted by GE Fan:

Perplexed - don't worry I am way funnier in person. Like stand-up comedian funny.

Which I know is hard to believe because I am so funny here.

How did this become about you?

He's probably been hanging around with Clam.

quote:

Originally posted by Yossarian:

He's probably been hanging around with Clam.

Could be… It is all about Clam isn’t it?

You mentioned funny.

GE Fan = funny.

I thought you knew that.

quote:

Originally posted by GE Fan:
You mentioned funny.

GE Fan = funny.

I thought you knew that.

quote:

Originally posted by GE Fan:
You mentioned funny.

GE Fan = funny.

I thought you knew that.

Funny, how?! Like your a clown, like you amuse us?! Just how the **** are you funny?

quote:

Originally posted by GE Fan:

LOL!

I’m sorry; I think you are threatening me… It’s just hard to take anyone who wears pants like theses serious…

Those pants are awesome. But they look like they bind the legs.

I thought it was already decided...Monkeys = Funny.
Do we make the correlation then that Fan = Monkey?